I never wanted to be an alter boy. My Grandmother on my Dads side was an Irish Catholic from New York, my Abuela on my Mom’s side was a Católica from Ecuador. Both my parents grew up going to church. Considering we lived a block away from one and that I was baptized there as an infant, I had little choice in the matter and my parents were young and did what their parents had done and indoctrinated me into the Catholic faith. I attended catholic school, wore the uniform, did the sacraments and went to mass bi-weekly in school and on Sundays. I never really understood religion and for the most part just did as I was told and went through the motions. My father had been an alter boy in Miami as a young lad and when he found out they were recruiting I was told I needed to take a walk over and attend the meeting. Begrudgingly, I started walking trying to figure out a way to escape but given that it was a short walk and worried my Dad would come check on me, I entered the church. The Basilica is massive, and I was young and short so I sat in hunched down in the back pew and prayed no one would see me. I saw a bunch of boys sitting in the front pew closest to the alter and did my best to be invisible. The old man leading the meeting saw me of course and walked all the way down the aisle to invite me to come sit in the front. I listened to his schpeel, declined his offer to travel with the church to Disneyland (which was super weird then and even more so in light of the priest scandals) and wanted desperately to put a wrong name and phone number on the clipboard when it was time to sign up. With the fear of god programmed in me, I put down my information. The next week at school, I saw my name was on the list to do the Palm Sunday service..yes, that Palm Sunday, the one before Easter and when Christ goes zombie-mode and Resurrects. I was already shy and knowing I had to be in front of the whole church wearing a man dress was nothing short of terrifying. After letting the suspense wreck my nerves all week, Sunday arrived and walked over a little early to get ready with the priest that had baptized me (Father Hadden - who was actually pretty cool) said he was excited that I would be serving mass with him and decided to make me be the one to LEAD! the procession down the aisle to the alter swinging the incense as he splashed people with a palm leaf and holy water. The glass doors opened, I walked into the Basilica and